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They do not look like their age

  • Writer: Chan Ping Xuan
    Chan Ping Xuan
  • Dec 8, 2019
  • 3 min read

Updated: Feb 16, 2020


I was lucky enough to buddy up with Wai Heng who is very friendly. She is in her late twenties and is diagnosed with Down Syndrome.


I didn't expect myself to support people who are 10 years older than me.


I was shocked to find out that I am the youngest not only among the volunteers but also everyone in the room. This is my first time getting to interact with people who are having invisible disabilities.



For art lesson, we were tasked to draw something related to Chinese New Year on a tile so that it will be pasted on the boat to be showcased during Chingay 2020.



Wai Heng asked me to google for images related to Chinese New Year on my phone. We stumbled on a picture with lion dance and firecrackers and decided to draw.








She asked me to grab another tile so that I can draw and paint together with her.


During the whole art lesson, she constantly showed me her artwork and asked if it is nice or not. I would reply with a yes and insert a few compliments about how nice to use the colours to complement each other.

At 12.30 pm, we were instructed by the art teacher to stop painting and start to clean up. Wai Heng and I went to the toilet to wash the paint off the palette. I unconsciously treating her like a child.


" Come, I help you." I will initiate the help.
" No, it is ok. I can do it myself," replied Wai Heng.

From her reply, I realised that helping them physically is not what people with invisible disabilities really need. All they need is accommodations from fellow Singaporeans.



When we arrived at the toilet, there is already a queue to wash the palette at the sink. However, Wai Heng was unaware of her social surroundings and went to stand beside the sink. The people in the queue were volunteers and Y*Star members. They look at me and Wai Heng, expecting me to tell Wai Heng to join the queue.


I told Wai Heng 3 times to join the queue. However, she ignores whatever I just said. Since it is my first time interacting with people who are diagnosed with Down Syndrome, I didn't know what to do. I couldn't possibly scold her because she is older than me and I need to show respect. At the same time, I thought she didn't like me teaching her manners.


Fortunately, the people in the queue were understanding. They never complain when Wai Heng 'cut the queue' and went ahead to wash her palette.


After clean up, it was time for Y*Star to go home. It was heartwarming to have Wai Heng to hug me to show her appreciation.


Left: Wai Heng's artwork Right : My artwork



After the Y*Stars had left, volunteers and teachers had a debrief session. During debrief, I managed to share the 'toilet incident' and the art teacher encouraged me to not be hesitant to just pull Wai Heng towards the queue as sometimes, she takes in/absorb what I advised her (which is to join the queue).



Reflection

Nominated Member of Parliament Chia Yong Yong, who has a nerve and muscular disorder and uses a wheelchair, said that ' We hope for you to be accommodating when we make strange, loud noises. We can't control our muscles... '  - The Straits Times

I was wrong about what people with invisible disabilities really need. I look at them like people with physical disabilities and need help in performing daily task. However, what they really need from Singaporeans is to be accommodating and not pity them.


Regarding the toilet incident, I learn to be more firm in my words and treat them like how I volunteered to be a tutor to primary school students. I learnt that those who are intellectually disabled need someone who is willing to teach them social skills.

 
 
 

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